Monday, June 24, 2013

Me and the Bible

What is the Bible to you?  Is it The Word of God?  A book Inspired by God?  A work of art?  A tome of mythology?

The Bible, to me, has always been a book Inspired by God.  Having said that, I want to clarify: I do believe in God.  How/who/what is God?  Genuinely, I have no clue.  But I believe in something greater than myself, that it is an entity that I do not understand nor likely have the capacity to understand.

Doesn't mean I am not going to try, right?

But why?  Why now?  And what is up with me writing a post anyway?  Why now am I writing, and why am I writing about spirituality?

To the "why are you even writing": I'm very much a fair weather writer.  I cannot write if I am not inspired.  It's really as simple as that.  I love to write, but I don't like to write for just writing sake.  I need something to say, something to think about, even if it of the most banal origins.

To the "why are you writing about sprituality, the Bible, and all that": I was inspired.  See, the unsuccessful battle of the bulge still wages on in the depths of my mind, going on 20 years now.  I've been seeing a therapist about that and other things, until I kindly broke up with her.  On our final meeting, she made a connection between what I've been describing as my eating issues and more main stream addictions.  My behavior mirrors that of an alcoholic.  And what do alcoholics do to get better?  Alcoholics Anonymous.  So what could I do to get help with my eating issues?  Overeaters Anonymous.  Yes, it exists. 

So what does OA have to do with spirituality?  Like AA, it has a huge part in recovery.  The first couple of steps in the famous 12 Step Program basically require you to admit you are powerless over your addiction and have you turn to a greater Power than yourself for help.

Well shit.  We, God and I, have been on shakey ground for a good decade or so.  Or rather Religion and I have had issues and I've made the common mistake of confusing religion for my own spirituality and belief in God.  Lots of religion depend on the Bible as it's backbone, so I suppose it was easy to take issue with a book that defines so much religion in the world.

Anyway, back to the 12 Steps, I decided to finally give in.  Not give up, but give in.  20 years running with minimal success?  Yep, I can say I'm pretty powerless over food.  What do I need to do about it?  Put some faith into God to help me out.  So how do I go about that?  Learn more about God.  How?  Read the work that was inspired by Him. 

I'll be honest with you: so far in Genesis, God seems to be more like one of the petty Greek/Roman gods than the New Testament Hippie God.  Killing everything, demanding bloody sacrifices, making outrageous demands of His children.  And his favorites, like Noah and Abraham?  About as vindictive and harsh as God.  So the God I'm getting to know, the God that I'm supposed to surrender to and put my faith into isn't a warm cuddly teddy bear that I want to snuggle with.  Not yet. 

Sure, I could have started with the New Testament, but I really just want to make a daily effort to read a few passages from the Bible.  Commit to a little ritual, in honor of the Big Guy upstairs.  And with my daily dip into the Good Book, I find myself having a running commentary on what I'm reading.  Like, the whole passage about circumcision being the sign of the covenant between Him and Abraham and all Abraham's offspring?  Seriously, what is up with that?  How come the sign of the covanent between Noah and God was a rainbow, but with Abraham you have to slice your junk?  That is some serious business.  SERIOUS business.  Maybe because God considered his covenant with Abraham much more serious than that with Noah.  Not sure how the genocide of 99% of life on this planet can be less serious than giving out some land to Abraham, but then again, I admit again that I can't really understand God.  I apologize if you take offense; I mean to speak frankly about what I'm reading and give an honest reaction to the passages. 

So if you want, take a gander at Genesis 17 (start with chapter 12 to get the whole picture of this Abram/Abraham covenant stuff.)

What do you think?  I know I have friends that are atheists and some that are deeply spiritual.  It'd be interesting to hear from all belief structures.